Of picking up the pieces of my life

God, what are the three most important things in my life that you want me to surrender to you?

That was the question that Pastor Goetz told us to ask ourselves this Sunday. The most important things in our lives are the things that we obviously cant live without. These are the hardest things to surrender to God. That is because, surrendering to God means that those things that you hold dearest to you are not yours, but Gods, and if he were to take them away from you suddenly, He could, and there is nothing that you can do about it.

Absolutely nothing.

2 years ago, I understood what that meant, when I lost you. Thats when I realized you were so important to me That I really could not do without you. For the first time in my life I actually felt so lot and helpless. I knew I had taken you for granted and thats why you parted. Only when I surrendered the relationship to God, could I find peace amidst the loss. Only when I surrendered it to God did I learn to treasure you more, at the same time, because I know now we live on borrowed time, and our relationship is meant to honor God, as He is the one who granted us the chance to be together like this now.

That was one thing that I had to surrender to God.

The other, I thought and prayed there at my seat in the sanctuary, was my family.

When was the last time, I thought, that I actually told my parents and showed them that I love them? Ive been pretty disobedient, by not sleeping early and coming home late. Time and time again I tell myself that needs to be changed. But when I do, I run straight to my room, and I shut myself onto the computer. BAD GIRL.

But today, I unwittingly did something different. I was tired from kickboxing and stayed downstairs rather than climb the stairs to my room. Odelia came over and wanted to play with me, and this time I made it an effort to really try to connect with her, even teaching her sudoku. I enjoyed it thoroughly! I missed her growing up, and I need to make up for the lost time. These 3 weeks, I told myself, I really have to babysit her and spend more time with her. Shes so near me everyday, and yet, I dont really know my own niece. Horrible, arent i!

And becausei was downstairs, I ate my supper while chatting with mom. I spent a good couple hours just having a heart to heart talk. Im a really horrible horrible daughter, that I should delight and blog about it, when it should really be a normal, everyday thing. I took for granted her presence everyday, and I worry her every night by coming home so late. I really shouldnt.

I feel so blessed to have my parents and my family with me. It really is so hard to surrender this blessing to God. I really dont know what I would do without them. I would feel so much remorse for not treasuring the time I have with them.

Whats the third thing?

My talents, I would suppose. Without the chance and ability to showcase my talent, I would feel so empty, and purposeless. My one pride is my multiple talents, and if God we to take them away from me, I would feel insecure and lousy. Wouldnt you?

But I still think that its easier to surrender that, than my family, or you. And I really really want to make my limited time count, by spending more time with my loved ones that God has blessed me with.

Category: Family, God
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