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Of wanting to be with You

Bob Fitts was at Trinity@Paya Lebar yesterday and on Saturday to minister and share of God’s wonderful grace to him. And I really was so touched by his sharing.

Recently I have been reconnecting with Jesus and both my brother-in-law and my brother have been my guides especially when it comes to questioning where Jesus is in the church. The books I am reading challenged me to ask myself how often I hear about Jesus in the church? And if I know that Jesus was there during the service?

I knew He was yesterday.

I cried twice as I reached out to Him while being ministered to. Fitts’ songs spoke of his love for Jesus. He shared how wonderful Jesus was. Every time he spoke about Jesus, it was as if he were talking about his wife like that. That’s how real I felt Jesus was to him. I was so moved that Jesus could be so real and tangible to someone that I was so guilty I could forget that He is a real person who is always with me like my boyfriend, not some floaty ideal that’s in my head.

How real He is! And how wonderful He is!

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Of being the body

Jesus paid much too high a price
For us to pick and choose who should come
(to church)

Casting Crowns – If We Are the Body

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Of feeding the 5000

It’s always easy to focus on the numbers in books. It’s easy to say “Jesus fed 5000 men!” and make it sound a lot. But to put it into perspective in real life just how big that kind of crowd is, was truly amazing.

The food was not just bread and fish though. It was a bigger spread. And to be honest, 3 caterers are not just 2 fish and 5 loaves. Moreover, it was really 10,000 people in the bible.

But in any case. I thank God for the food, and the fellowship and the chance to thank God for where I am. :)

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Of praises, and other things

I went back to my old church on Sunday. It was a very prodigal daughter moment for me. I have hardly felt so loved before. Well I guess that happens when you disappear for a while and everyone notices. It was rather nostalgic, yet not quite the same. Why? Because the people are (mostly) the same old few, though many have left, but the building is the newly built church. It’s very pretty, that’s for sure. Praying that the church will have a revival soon :) Sorry, RCC, but I have moved on. I’m pretty sure that that’s what God wants from me, in order for me to grow spiritually.

In other news…
So many times I have heard all the testimonies of others who are challenged to write down an amount for the faith promise which they usually cannot afford off-hand. But by faith, they put it down, and God will provide. I always envied them, to be able to have their faith challenged and strengthened.

Until, this month, I believe that the provision came. I don’t have a job, and it’s not often that a friend would offer you money for a job. It’s double the amount I put for the faith promise too, so God blessed me in a way too! Praise God! I really thank God for that! I almost couldn’t believe it.

But I think I spent the amount he blessed me with today on a shopping spree. On animation and art books. Help I’m such a geek! I didn’t spend on clothes!! HAHA. Never mind, I shall look for cheap clothes in Melaka and Shang Hai. whee :)

I’m REALLY grateful for you loving me, and wanting me. Thank you :) I’m very loved and blessed. Hehe.

Of encouraging faith

The faith in His provision. It encourages me.

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Of what keeps us motivated

A few days ago, I concluded to myself that dissatisfaction leads to progress.

But today, Pastor Dom was more effective.

Fear and rejection, causes one to excel. But that, without Christ, leads to the emptiness (dissatisfaction).

What keeps you going?

Today, dear gave me a lot to think about. A simple question “Why did you convert” stumped me. And the conversation went on to make me think about my ego and my stagnation of character growth.

I need to delve deeper and get myself out of this perpetual confusion of my personal self.

Of times of refreshing

Last week was a week of emotional struggles. Basically I was quite down and stressed.

But church was a mighty refresher and the worship songs reminded me not to rely on my own strength. Moreover, Matthew 11:28 was in my mind over and over again throughout the service.

I’m sorry. How could I forget that I’m not alone? How could I forget that I need not worry as You will provide?

*slaps herself silly*

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Of Christians…

In the words of someone else (whom I will not name), Christians are hypocrites and pushy.

And I shamefully agree.

Of a discussion with Samm…


I shared with Samm what happened over the weekend for me because she is in the same situation that I was in (until Saturday). She was very encouraged and happy for me, and I encouraged her to pray and not to stop committing Wei Hao to the Lord. I felt that she’s a girl who really loves the Lord with all her heart, so I hope and pray that things will work out for her too. :) But we will not know the Lord’s plans, so let’s just submit it to Him.

Surrendering is the key! Because, He is God and we are not.

Later on we had another discussion about situations in churches and politics. Without a doubt, this is the saddest situation to have, disgusting secular politics in the House of God. Even so, it is inevitable because those who are running it are imperfect people like you and me, but are simply instruments of God to do His will.

And she pointed out that a high percentage of “bad” people with anger management problems, issues, and brokenness are found to be Christians. It’s because these are the people who find the need for God (or a god). Like Jesus said of the debt collector, that He came for these people who are broken. My pastor also once said that people only go to doctors if they are sick. Healthy people generally do not.

So her point is that most people who have things going on well in their life generally do not seek a God. Not to say that Christians are all people who don’t have good things going on in their lives. If they do, they are truly blessed. But it doesn’t mean that God loves the others any less. He still loves them.

He loves me. And He loves you.

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Of His omniscience

Before the world began
You were on His mind
And every tear you cry
Is precious in His eyes
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Nothing you can do
Could make Him love you more
And nothing that you’ve done
Could make Him close the door
Because of His great love
He gave His only Son
Everything was done
So you would come

Come to the Father
Though your gift is small

Broken hearts, broken lives
He will take them all
The power of the Word
The power of His blood
Everything was done
So you would come

Let your gift be your life. I want to please the Lord. Help me become a better Christian.

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